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  • Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
  • Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings"
  • The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with
  • I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
  • 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not
  • I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
  • English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
  • You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same
  • If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
  • Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
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