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  • If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
  • I wear the pants in this house. My wife just tells me which pair to wear
  • We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture
  • Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
  • I must confess, I was born at a very early age
  • I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
  • I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
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